S04E01 Transcript: Tasha Ghouri on Influence

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Gemma Styles [00:00:02] Hello and welcome to a brand new series of Good Influence. This is the podcast where I welcome our guests to discuss their experiences, answer your questions and teach us something new. This week we're talking about influence. Using influencing for good, where pressure can arise as a role model and the power that comes from sharing our differences. So joining me this week is Tasha Ghouri. Tasha is a dancer, model and reality TV personality who you probably know best from her time on the summer 2022 season of Love Island. Tasha made history as the first deaf contestant, educating fellow islanders about what she calls her superpower and placing fourth with boyfriend Andrew. Since leaving Love Island, she's amassed over 1.5 million followers on Instagram and used that platform to promote awareness with the heart of her community, as well as notably highlighting second hand shopping through her content and partnership with eBay.

Tasha Ghouri [00:00:59] You don't see much diversity and representation, so going in, I have to kind of be like by how to make a positive impact because that's what it's about is, you know, I want to change people's perspective on people with superpowers.

Gemma Styles [00:01:13] So I want to ask you about some of the different ways that you've kind of personally used your influence. But first, shall we talk a bit about influence and influencing in general like us? Because you had an Instagram following of like a decent size before Love Island, right through the other work that you did. But how has the experience been different kind of after coming out of Love Island and having that much bigger platform to work with?

Tasha Ghouri [00:01:43] I think, you know, before Love, I tried to use my platform as much as I could, even I had a small following. I really was trying to raise awareness as much as I could. So coming out the show and having probably triple the size I did before, as time is quite overwhelming and I was a bit like, okay, I don't know what to do, but sometime I kind of had to think it's not really any different, you know, differences, which just got more people supporting you. And that's kind of how I see it, is the people that follow me as my supporters because they follow me for that reason. It's to support me and obviously come with negatives as well. Obviously, when you're on a big show like that, it's not always just, you know, it's not always the grass is greener on the other side. It's pretty it can be quite intense sometimes. And I think I'm still kind of getting used to it a little bit, but I'm still using my platform, but I'm passionate about and I want to make a difference and talk about my experiences to help the people. And that's why I got on the show, that that's why I did what I did. So yeah, that's why I was kind of using my platform to do that. But it has been a massive change for sure.

Gemma Styles [00:02:48] Yeah, definitely. I mean, it's a really nice way to look at it, actually. That is the number of people following you. You're like, they're there to support you. I quite like that. I don't think I've heard anybody say it like that before. I mean, it's kind of it's interesting to hear you say because, I mean, so I watched you all season of Love Island. I haven't watched it for years and years, but I've watched like a couple of seasons. I watched all I feel like whenever you hear people talk about going on Love Island, all anyone ever says is. You know, while I went on to find love. And at this point, we're kind of like, well, sure. Like, that's a nice bonus, but that's not a guarantee when you go into a show like that. But what you do know is going to happen most of the time these days is you're going to end up with a much bigger audience than you than you had when you went into the show. Why do you think that's such a draw for so many people now? And I mean, you did just say that using using that platform was going to be important to you.

Tasha Ghouri [00:03:45] Yeah, I think, you know, going on the show, I mean, for two reasons, was to generally find someone and also to raise awareness about my cochlear implant, my deafness. So now being the first person that was kind of deaf and hearing impaired, it was scary for me, as it should. I don't know how it's going to go, but I thought, you know what? I'm going to go and be my authentic self and see what happens. And I think, like you said, I can go two ways. You can come out and have a big following or you can come out and not so very savvy and you can't go in with a plan of like, I'm going to walk out with, for example, a million followers want money for the tick tock set you call, you have to be very open minded to like situation come out on the outside of it. That's what you're going to get. And that's why going and going in on the show, I like to watch watching like like whatever happens happens pretty much and I have to be open minded. And you can't go in with expectations as well because you let yourself down if you don't come out with those expectations. And I think the reason why it's come so inference, I think because Love Island get so many of us watching that program is crazy. Is that one of the biggest top viewing programs in the UK? Probably yeah but but and I think people just get really invested in their relationships that come out of the show. So I mean, that's why the followings are quite big, you know, because people want to know how's it going after the show at that Stockwell Show ends, You know, it's crazy. Like even six months on, people are still so interested in Andrew and like what we're up to and what we're doing. So it really is interesting how crazy. It's crazy when you think about people really, really do care about, you know, who you as a couple and stuff even after you after the show.

Gemma Styles [00:05:24] Mm Yeah. Which I mean is a good thing really I guess because it's the longevity, like it's such a changed your life that it would be, it must be quite different if that, you know, goes away more quickly because I know like obviously people all have a lot of different experiences. Not everyone comes out and has the exact same experience after the show. Considering what you said about coming out and having more followers, you were saying is kind of the same thing, but just with a bigger audience, how does the experience differ of kind of having that platform increase in size and interacting with people on social media? How is that different from the other kinds of sort of media attention that you'll now get from, say, things like tabloid newspapers and stuff like that?

Tasha Ghouri [00:06:13] Yeah, I mean, opposite tabloids, newspapers, covers and as well. So this is a it's a whole world like I've never been a newspaper before now. So it's like seeing my face on newspapers and stuff is literally like it was weird to kind of see that. And I mean, difference is obviously a lot bigger. I have more of a bigger audience, a bigger platform, and I think there's more of a magnifying glass on me and Andrew, you know, because we got a couple grouped together on that show. So it's kind of like everything we do, it really is on a magnifying glass. And I think that scares me a little in terms of my private person. So let's keep things quite private. Between me and Andrew, especially my friends, I keep them very private. Like I don't really post in much on my stories and stuff because I don't want to and go into them and sending them messages. Yeah, that's it. Then that changes my mentality. Like before I be like friends up, like really like my besties. Whereas now we do that as much because you just don't know, like who's going to go and message my friend, like being a troll and stuff and I don't want that responsibility on them. So that's kind of like the different big difference for me, like coming out and I think also always been engaging like, you know, social media and kind of now my job because I'm having to constantly be engaged and I'm there, I'm constantly having to, you know, make sure that you know, that like the brands of working with, make sure like they're on time, like, you know, a lot of things that play into it now and sometimes can get really stressful. There's been lots of times where I've literally just wanted to like, throw my clients to be like that because it can get so overwhelming. But I think obviously the first 5 to 6 months is very crazy because there's a hype around like I come out the spent 11 weeks in a fella and it's all like very crazy, but now it's time to kind of calm down a bit. It's quite nice and but yeah been you know I'm so grateful because I came out to a lot of support and a lot of positivity. Was it before in the show had quite a bit of an up and down in the book coming out came out with. To a lot of support, and I think that really made it better for me.

Gemma Styles [00:08:18] Tasco I'm glad to hear that, yeah, because it's I mean, following the show when you were on it, it was a very kind of like Rocky, up and down kind of experience for you, it looked like on the screen anyway, so I'm, I'm glad it felt supportive when you came out. I mean, you did say, though. About trolling and kind of people messaging your friends and stuff. Like do you think that's. Is that something that you've. Experienced a lot of like, has that been a big part of the kind of influencer experience for you?

Tasha Ghouri [00:08:51] Definitely. I think especially when I was in the Pillar, Offensive family had it really bad for them because they have to do with that. I don't have my phone in there, so it's heartbreaking to come out and see the things that was said about me while I was in there and I said, Chill out, that's not me. It's a person. And that's the thing with putting yourself on a TV show is that those things are going to happen, like you are going to get chose, you are going to get negativity. And for me there's got to play. But ableism is involved, like this tick tock of people taking out my voice. People are saying, I would get here and I'd go into the poll light and it's crazy how people can get so invested in that one person to rip them apart. And yeah, that's that's why you have to be so mentally strong to go on a show like that and coming out of that, yeah, to get me one. That's still quite a few negative comments, but that's probably like 1% out of 99% positive comments. I see. So I always focus on a positive ones and don't focus so much on negative ones. And I think if you focus like that, then you're not really going to. If you go looking for it, then you're constantly going to keep looking for that one bit of like negativity. So I mean, that's why you have to always focus on a positive. And if you focus on the positives, then you're going to be absolutely fine. But I think the hardest part is knowing that your friends and family have to do with it all because they're the ones that happen to have your back was in there.

Gemma Styles [00:10:10] Yeah, definitely. Is that I mean, that must be because some people in if that, you know, working as an influencer I guess they'd have the same sort of thing where they might keep their family quite private but they might also keep, you know, like a partner quite private. But for you and Andrew both kind of doing the same kind of influencing work. Now, have you found like there's much difference between the two of you and like his experience as a man in that kind of space and yours as a woman, do you think it's a very different sort of experience?

Tasha Ghouri [00:10:40] I think for Andrew's whole new well to him before he's doing real estate in Dubai, like you never really never knew how to use tech talk like he was so, like, oblivious to how to use even do like a tech type of deal and stuff. So right now, whereas before I was doing modelling and I was doing, you know, kind of social content, I've been that kind of I do was kind of tied in with that a little bit. So to come out for and just like a targeted at how you do tick tock, I don't even know like how to do posts and stuff. So it tied in quite nice because I've been like helping them like, you know, do the things that I needed to do. And I think it Inferencing world, I think it's harder for guys to kind of get like one deals and stuff because the girls are so much out there. You got like makeup, you got had got clothes, shoes, you've got skincare, this so many things. Whereas with guys it's harder to try and bench be a little bit so. Andrew Andrew's passion is real estate, so he still wants to focus on that, but also do a little bit of clothes and stuff. But he's got a niche and I think it's quite important to have a niche when you come out and light, that niche will really help you with longevity in the future. So I think it has been a bit hard for Nick, it's just hard for guys, which is really strange because you think it'd be quite the same, but it's actually now as you see all these girls getting massive bundles and stuff and the guy's not really doing so much work and that's just because of more what's out there and that lot of more like girly ones, I think, to support the show.

Gemma Styles [00:12:11] Mm hmm. Yeah. I mean, that that makes sense. It must be. I feel like when you talk about men versus women on social media, it's it's usually from kind of, you know, quite a different perspective than that. But when you look at it, the kind of influence worlds like as a job. Yeah, I can see that there must be things for men that are actually a bit more difficult, which is isn't usually the case with a lot of these things. So that's an interesting one. So we've obviously mentioned already about you. Basically one of the reasons you wanted to go on the show is to bring awareness to the hardware and community. I feel like you were very intentional with using very kind of like positive language around around being deaf and, you know, would describe it as your superpower when you were talking to people about other. Was that quite important to you to kind of go in and not only sort of spread awareness and be that kind of role model, but to make sure you were speaking positively about it from the outside?

Tasha Ghouri [00:13:08] Definitely. I think, you know, show like, look, I don't see much diversity and representation. So going in, I have to kind of be like by how to make a positive impact because that's what it's about is, you know, I want to change people's perspective on people with superpowers from negative to a positive because there is a lot of negativity and how people see people with superpowers. That decision is different everyday. That's not the case. Like we're more equal. Yeah, the difference is that maybe I'll wear a cool thing about my. Yeah, that's literally it. And that's why I could go in in on the show. I was kind of, I'm going to walk in and be open and. The first night I was so nervous that one bottle of vodka. Get it done. Get it out of the way. Yeah. But rather doing it one by one, because I would just take the whole night to do that. So just get everyone together. And. And I was so nervous about so much better because I knew that me doing that was going to help so many people out there watching it. And now, you know, younger generation with superpowers being like, she could be open about it, so can I. And that's why at that moment so pivotal, because I wanted to show people you can be open. No one's going to judge you for it. And I didn't get charged like everyone's so welcome in the military, like, oh, that's so cool. Like, I'm not going to treat you any different. So that's why I went into positive impact. And even throughout the show, I had conversations with Andrew, like we had similar conversations more about how it worked and even sex. Some of your mind is and I just was keep doing that throughout the show because it's a part of me and I don't want to hide away from that, that that's part of who I am. So I always wanted to make sure that people that were watching with superpowers could also be like, I could be like her one day. And I just want to get that confidence to people. And I feel like there's such a stigma around people as superpowers that can't do it, can't find love or these things can't be confident. That's how I went in being confident and being who I am, because you can be these all these amazing things.

Gemma Styles [00:15:08] Yeah, I'll come on to asking you questions that people have sent in it a little bit, but yeah, I'm definitely going to be asking you a question from people about kind of finding that confidence with like unemployment, for example. So yeah, I think that's definitely from the messages I've had even for the podcast. Like I think you've definitely done that job of, you know, showing an example of someone being really confident with it. So that is great. How do you find the sort of balance of because I think it's it's one of those, as you were saying, it's kind of trying to show a positive example. But also trying to show that you're kind of no different from anyone else. I think that can be quite a difficult sort of line to tread sometimes between fitting in to that kind of. Role model kind of pressure to be a certain way and pressure to be a role model. Or the other side of saying, you know, I'm just a normal person. I just happened to have this thing that's different about me. Is that kind of do you feel you go between those two things?

Tasha Ghouri [00:16:13] I get where you're coming from. I think it's hard now because I think I kind of do. I don't really feel the pressure in terms of like, I have to be this kind of role model. I think me I think me being me is enough, if that makes sense. I think what I'm doing and how I am is like me as a person. So I feel like I'm like sometimes I feel like I'm not doing enough. Sometimes I do have days that I'm like, I feel like I'm just not doing enough in terms of I've got not Hannah, I have this platform. I sometimes think I should be doing more, but then that's also like, you can't do everything at the day. And I, it takes time. And I sometimes these take that pressure off myself because I do that sometimes say to myself, I feel like I should be doing something, but I am working on something. Got Project of my own coming up and that's happening soon. It's like because that's going to happen soon, then that's going to take that pressure off. Makes it something I'm passionate about. So it's kind of like it's kind of wishy washy. Sometimes I'm like, I feel like I should be doing more, but I feel like I need to mean by I'm doing enough. And yeah, I definitely feel like it can be a bit pressurised sometimes, but it's not times that people give me that pressure. I do it to myself. Way that makes sense.

Gemma Styles [00:17:20] Yeah. No, that makes total sense. Yeah, I see what you mean. It's yeah, I think yeah, it's definitely a difficult balance. Like I would even find just from, you know, someone who's got like a large Instagram platform, like, for example. But yeah, I think it is quite often that pressure that you put on yourself to do something good with it. Yeah. Was that has that always been. Something that's important to you? I feel like it is it. We're starting to kind of see a little bit of a change in the sort of influence a world, if you like, where people are use, while a lot of people anyway, are kind of using those platforms to take causes that they care about and talk about the more. Do you think that's something that people expect more now?

Tasha Ghouri [00:18:07] 100%. I think, you know, kind of back in. And every few years in some was like had to be this perfect girl, perfect body. You have to be, you know, set away like blonde hair, like a statue. And I think now nowadays, social media is so much more I see so much more black representation of social media. I think tech talks what started it? I think Tik Tok really started to break that boundaries and stigma around now having to be this perfect person. And I see so amazing, amazing influencers using their platform for good and you know now like. But so many so many incredible people out there that use it for the better. And I think people expect that now more because it's normal, like it's human. And I think even when I post a picture on my cochlear implant that people still like get shot, like not shot, but people still sometimes get supplies out of post that I'm like. So it's it's normal. So I think it should be more normalised. And there's so many like stuff open up a lot more. And it's nice to see that people use a platform like even people's superpowers or, you know, I think like for example, she was on Love Island two years ago and she suffers from acne and she talks about it open the unofficial media and, you know, she gives advice on how to work it. And I think that's great and that's how it should be. So, you know, you can use your platform and share your message and you're going to help so many of the people out there inspire so many more people. And I feel like that should be the power of social media is, you know, you should be able to influence and inspire many people. I think if that continues the way it's going and the world is going to be such different world and I think the world can be more accepting, if anything, hopefully if we keep going that way. And I think it needs to happen because I think there's so much pressure, especially for the younger generation, having to be Instagram models, having to be perfect, like I haven't like this Instagram life. And I think now that people are starting to breakthrough that it's taken away from that is actually let's be real on Instagram or social media.

Gemma Styles [00:20:15] Yeah, definitely. Yeah, I mean, be real. That's the thing is it's I opened that new platform everyone's using is that seems to be what everyone's kind of craving, right? It's interesting how you talk about Tik Tok. So I don't have Tik Tok. I don't use. I downloaded it once on my it's like 3 hours out of my life. I was like, Oh, I I'm not ready for this. Not ready for another, another phase, my time to go. But I feel like I've heard different, different things about Tik tok like, I think. As far as I have kind of got the impression of it. There's a lot of maybe more kind of casual sort of content on there. Like it may be not as curated as people still think. Instagram is a lot of the time, but I have also heard it's it's very trolly. Tik tok as far as as far as I'm aware, is not true.

Tasha Ghouri [00:21:05] I think I haven't really had much was a man I probably get a few negative comments but it should just delete them. I'm just like, you know, you don't want you to ruin my day so much. Like delete block And I think Troll is going to be everywhere you go. Like to Twitter is probably the worst place for that.

Gemma Styles [00:21:21] Because.

Tasha Ghouri [00:21:22] Twitter is that that yes place of advice to anyone you know if you're going to shut it don't have Twitter but get advice. Yeah. And I think that's just something that comes along with that fortunately and can't get rid of them. And as hard as it is, you just can't get rid of it and do it. On Tik Tok, though I do have they have like, Hey, this might be good advice. Actually, I'm set in somewhere they have actually where you can actually type in keywords and it won't come up on your profile. She won't see it. For example, someone uses swear to call you like a nasty name. You can never block that word out. So those words that come up on your comments and it blocks that. So I put unsavoury like massive threats and stuff and nothing, nothing comes up relating to that. And you can also have like a monitor that kind of monitors it on like a higher set in and it can monitor the comments, but it's is hard because you just can't get it, just can't get rid of them and you just kind of have to really block them out. And it's hard to say that because even sometimes it gets to be sometimes and it's it's one of those situations, but you just really have to think, no, well, I'm better than that. I'm going to keep my head held high and don't stoop to that level and, you know, use that as motivation to do better and even to work harder to prove them wrong.

Gemma Styles [00:22:37] Yeah, but I think this is one of those things, isn't it? Like you can't it's obviously easier to say than it is to do, but like you can't control other people's behaviour. But you know, even if you can't stop people saying nasty things doesn't mean that, you know, the onus is on you to have to read the things like, absolutely, I totally agree. Like blocking those kind of the, the rude like comment words and like do blocking people in general if they've got that say like. Just because they're going to make those comments doesn't mean that you have to spend your day reading them kind of thing. I'm definitely here for that kind of energy.

Tasha Ghouri [00:23:14] Has that clear? Exactly. That's how you got to think of it. This guy think, well, you're wasting my time, so I'm going to waste your time. I love it.

Gemma Styles [00:23:22] You keep screaming into the void. I can't even see what you're saying.

Tasha Ghouri [00:23:26] Exactly.

Gemma Styles [00:23:29] So another way that you have been using your platforms, which I think is fair to say, is like a pretty unusual for, you know, an ex Love Island contestant is to talk a lot about second hand shopping, which is something I'm a big fan of personally. And we've kind of we've talked a lot about sustainable fashion and things like that on the podcast before. So I'd love to just ask you a little bit about that, really. Like, is that something you've always been interested in?

Tasha Ghouri [00:23:55] And then definitely even before the filler I used to shop in like, sure. Did she know that Camden Brick Lane and I've stopped on eBay before, like deep, deep heart and beating the fill. I think it really must be changed. My perspective and the things that eBay were giving us that she like. While I ask if this was an eBay and I really could not believe in some of the stuff like I was wearing like vintage Saatchi, I'm like this guy. And I actually like what's like, I never wore Versace before, and I literally was like, I'm going to Versace right now. And I just think coming out the Bella and even before kind of understanding past fashion and the ethics and the morals behind it, and I've learned so much more coming out of it now, like really deep down into it. And I literally I remember when I came back, I went into my room. I took away everything that was fast fashion, not just like gave it away to charity. I didn't like. Yeah, everything. Like there's probably about 14 to 20 bean bags, full hour lectures. I'm getting rid of everything. And I think because it's crazy how much, you know, people's views can change. And not that I'm kind of like my views of must be changed. And I've always loved vintage cause my best friends a really like fashion like people and they were like vintage stuff and like, they must be influenced me as well. And I get that from the back of my What was that? No way. And so I think I had like, embraced it. That happened to fill up. I think after I'd been in a massive change, my perception around it. And then obviously eBay came to me and said like, we love to work with you. And I was at 100%. And I think if anything, it's probably the perfect collaboration between us too, because I love my fashion and I love like I also love upcycling as well. Like sometimes let's take clothes and chop it up, change it up. And I batch it looks so much better than it did before and now it's so good. Now I can also use my platform to share my views and my messages. And you know, of course, like it's hard because it's a lot about making those little swaps, isn't it? You know, it's all about making this little changes. And then eventually you open up to a whole new world out there like you really do.

Gemma Styles [00:26:08] Yeah, definitely. Do you think people were quite surprised by that kind of partnership, like in terms of if you were, you know, kind of like reading comments that you had met on social media and stuff. Do you feel like that did make an impact on your audience that they wouldn't have expected you to be doing that?

Tasha Ghouri [00:26:27] Definitely. I think I think being in there had quite a lot of praise about my passion, and I honestly didn't expect to coming out. Everyone's like, Oh my God, Tasha's like, No fashionista. Let your gosh just be like, like normal. Then suddenly I felt like there's a bit of pressure in terms of who I was going to partner with. Kim I don't think people expected at all that people really look at it in such a negative way because they think, Oh, eBay is I actually know eBay's a great platform and that company and what they stand for as well, they are great as a whole. So I think people were definitely shocked for sure, but I think it was more of a positive shock is that, you know, is like finally someone's done it kind of thing. And and I had a few with the brand, you know what it's come to. And I said, no, I wasn't eBay's to want for me. And I was like, I just I don't know like, you know, just be it in a potential site and for other reasons why I want to do it is because, you know, I want to work at kind of like higher end, kind of like design brands and stuff. And I love vintage that plays a massive part into that and obviously showing much more about sustainability and it's so much better for the planet as well. So I think a lot of people were definitely shot for sure, but I think people like it makes sense kind of thing.

Gemma Styles [00:27:45] Yeah, I mean that's that is the good part is I mean, as you say, like changing people's behaviour. It doesn't always have to be. You completely change everything about yourself overnight but especially. As you say, with different brands. And like designer brands, I feel like are maybe more more common or more accepted, like in a in a resale market because I think people have. I don't know, kind of maybe just inherently a bit more respect for kind of like the label in the clothes. And it makes sense that they were like, Oh, you can't throw that away because it's from X, Y, Z designer. So do you think it's kind of about sort of gently leading people in to second-hand shopping and then, you know, people will sort of realise, oh, well I, I bought that second-hand because it was from X designer, This is great. I love this piece of clothing and it'll sort of lead them into like more of those habits in general.

Tasha Ghouri [00:28:42] Definitely. And I think also small business businesses as well that I love to work with small businesses that don't even have a huge platform like, for example, light duty or Louis Vuitton. But they're, you know, their ethics and the quality of trade is amazing. And you have small businesses on eBay as well. And even some brands are literally Animal Square on Instagram while they a really cool brand, like even if they've got like a thousand followers on Instagram, like, you know, buy something from there. Because I think support in small businesses as well is also a lot better. And eBay also has that platform for them. And I think with eBay, it's not just clothes as well. You've got you can buy a Second-hand Dyson app, you can actually get anything on there. And I think that's what's so great is that you can also buy something better than new eBay. You can also get new things on eBay. So people just think it's like old stuff. Like you know that from years ago. That's not the case, actually. You can find like some of them have this massive collection called Metaverse or something, and it's sold out like that. And people selling on eBay now for like tripled the price, though, which is quite. Yeah, it's like it goes to show that you can get things and I think yeah that's just there's just such a negative outlook on people who are second-hand and I'm trying to break that boundary and break that stigma of light is not actually about it. It's actually, if anything, it's better. It's great that you're doing that. And it's just, yeah, I think people see it as embarrassing and it's kind of like, who wants to our second hand kind of thing. It's like, well, it's not. It's weird, isn't it? It's such a perception that should it be like that and I think maybe equity based to really take that kind of view that people have on that.

Gemma Styles [00:30:31] Well, perfect. Where definitely I speak for myself and listeners of the podcast, I feel like we're generally, you know, pretty, pretty pro second-hand fashion. So definitely, you know, for that messaging and like bringing that to a whole different audience, which is essentially what, what you will be doing for sure.

Tasha Ghouri [00:30:47] Sure.

Gemma Styles [00:30:51] Every week my guest and I will be answering your questions on the first one comes in from L.A. who says, As someone who also wears cochlear implants, how did you get the confidence to tell friends about your deafness, as well as things like wearing your hair up and showing off your implant? I've just started uni and due to bad experiences in the past, I'm finding it really hard to wear my hair up or tell my new friends or.

Tasha Ghouri [00:31:12] Ask a question. I think for me I wasn't always competent as a person during school. I always had my hair down of never show it. I never would speak about it. And I think when I got to my kind of like 1820s, I think that's kind of where I want to start, to not compare myself in a negative way. It's hard because you do do it naturally. I think, you know, remember that your cochlear implant does not define you. It's a part of you that something special and something that makes you a bit unique and own that embrace, that it makes you so beautiful. And it's all about taking baby steps that you have to hang in there and be patient and a confidence that come in a day. It takes a while and it's all about working on yourself and building that self love within yourself. And it's really just about trust in the process. And don't be too hard on yourself either. If you have down days, that is also okay. And I feel like there's so much pressure of having to be confident and it's like it takes a while and just take baby steps. Maybe one day it is where I have up. So if you get to 10 minutes, that's an incredible achievement. You know, take that treatment to the next day, do it for 20 minutes. And it's all about really taking that confidence to see it day by day. And then that time what has come to you? And it worked just clicking you. And I think that's what happened to me. It just kind of happened and I just kind of found myself within myself and I think just keep doing you and just don't put pressure on yourself. And when no one else is you and that's your biggest power. And I always say that is you. No one else is media, and that's the best power you can have. So own that power and surround yourself with positive people. Surround yourself, people that lift you up, surround yourself with people that are there for you. And I'm telling you now, your friends will not judge you or your friends. If they are your true friends, they will support you. They will love you for who you are. And don't be scared. And it's scary to take that first step of telling them. But once you tell them, you're going to feel the whole way. Shoulders.

Gemma Styles [00:33:12] That's such a lovely advice, I think. I mean, that's obviously not an experience I can relate to specifically, but even from my experience of, you know, that time where you start uni. Does feel so kind of it's like it can be quite a time of reinvention because, you know, you're probably in a new place, like in a new area, like with all new people. They don't know your past. So even if you've had bad experiences before, that must feel really scary. But you can try and kind of leave those behind you and the new people won't be aware of those. So yeah, yeah, I think it is a good time to yeah, to try and try and present a bit more confidence in yourself because people won't know that you're not that you weren't confident before.

Tasha Ghouri [00:33:57] Definitely. And I think like honesty, people will support you. Like I've told a lot people, I have not had one before, like negative person come back to me and be like that. So we're like a lot of people think, Oh my God, that is really cool. So that you take it as a new, fresh start, new chapter and, you know, use this time to build on yourself. Sure.

Gemma Styles [00:34:19] Yeah. I also think so. I mean, this is obviously just something of a phase. I feel like you start union is it's often that thing as well like you might meet people in like the first bit of freshers or something where you meet people on your course and go through these experiences of like telling people about yourself. But also uni is a lot longer than those first like few months. When you start, like you're going to meet a lot more people over the course of those numbers of years. So even if you feel like you're not 100% comfortable in the group that you found, like right at the beginning, there's a lot more of that experience left. So feel like, yeah, that can cause people a flow.

Tasha Ghouri [00:34:58] But yeah, definitely I agree with that, to be fair.

Gemma Styles [00:35:01] Next question is from Sian, who asks, What advice would you give to someone who may not know how to act around a deaf person if they don't know sign language? I know sometimes when people try and help things sometimes come across as offensive or rude.

Tasha Ghouri [00:35:16] Okay, that's actually a very good question. I've had it quite a few times that people don't know how to approach men like I don't know how to approach. And I think if you start thinking like that, the opposite is going to maybe come across it or maybe come across a bit different. So I think best advice, obviously I'm hearing impaired by a deaf person, you know, just tap them on the shoulder lightly. And you know, if you don't know BSL, you can write it down, can type it on your phone or they can lip reading addiction and really articulate your speech and and obviously they be able to lip reading. But don't think you're being rude. I think I get I get where you're coming from. It's kind of like you don't want to be like or want to see. Don't be like just tap them on the shoulder and, you know, and then just say, I don't know. BSL and people don't mind. You just write it down and it's absolutely fine or typing on the phone and that sometimes do that. I have Andrew and I don't have my cochlear implant in and then he's talking to me. I'm like, You just type on the phone and at the moment I'm like, I'm too tired or I want to fight from it. But yeah, I think I think that's probably the best for Top Tips. We have the A and don't be scared. Like don't treat them as any different. Like, that's just, that's exactly the same as Yeah. And I think if you treat them different and they're going to be a bit like okay well why kind of domains have been Yeah it's been normal like how you Yeah.

Gemma Styles [00:36:40] Yeah that's good advice and I think it's, I, I find it important sometimes to kind of include questions like that because I think that's the kind of question that someone would feel quite awkward to ask even and just to kind of it can be quite uncomfortable to say like, I don't really know how to act in this situation. So I really appreciate your advice. I thank you.

Tasha Ghouri [00:37:02] Yeah. So I guess.

Gemma Styles [00:37:05] Okay, last question again, we've got a confidence kind of question, but in a different, different sort of vein. So last question from Tamara, who says, I love your style so much, but how did you become confident enough to wear whatever you wanted? And also, were you ever worried about what people in your hometown would think when you started influencing and making content?

Tasha Ghouri [00:37:26] Oh, that's so that's that kind of that term one. Okay. Yeah. So the first house, I had it covered in what I wear, I think how I got comfortable where I just think because I'm a dancer. Sabina Dancer, you're kind of very in an industry where people express themselves and people really express who they are food, clothes, food, dancing. I mean, that's an industry may be very more open to that, I think. And I think sometimes you have to take risks with fashion and that's how you find your style. And for example, that I did for TV, TV choice of or something like that, and I went with like a really cool black suit and I had like bleached brows and red lips and I thought, you know, I'm going to go for it. And, you know, that's that's kind of how I kind of started to play about my fashion, get confident. It's taken those risks. And if you take those fears that scare you, then you get more confident. In the styles that you were. So I think, say I love to wear joggers as far as it stays. Well, it should have joggers. I'm not always like fashion, like the walking out of my door, but I think it's all about just playing round in bed and going out the comfort zone. If you're normally like a neutral kind of colour, go, go for something, a bit of pop of colour that can really start to change it and put you outside of boxing out a bit. So it's really just about taking that little steps. And if you know me like a dress person, maybe one night where trousers and a top and change up a bit. So I think it's all about just going for something you don't usually go for and that's how you find your confidence with the styles that you know, and that's how you define semi more different kind of core styles that you wear. And the confidence just comes off, I guess. And then the second half of question, I came from a very small town called Thirsk, and it's a very, very small town in the countryside, ships and cows and there's not many people in my town. So I actually moved to London about five or six years ago and I've been away from home for so many years. And I think people in my town knew that I was never going to stay in town as that kind of go. I had big trips to Chase, and I think people knew that and saw that in May. And I think. Hopefully. And the people in my town are proud of me because I've kind of I hope that I've represented my town well because I come out of Thirsk and gone into my own journey. And I think, of course people are maybe going to charge you, but you have to be like, I have to do what's best for me. And you know, you can't live in first place that a people, you have to do what you want to do in life and how you want your life to go. So that's why I made that big decision to move to London, and that's got me where I am now. So I think content creation stuff and that's just kind of obviously my job. So yeah, I think, yeah, it's weird when I go home as well. It's so crazy to go home, but it really is just one of those things, you know, when you make that big move, people may judge you because they're still at home in Thirsk. But you know, I'm not judging them because they made that decision to do that. So I just made my decisions. But actually I'm going to go somewhere to chase my dreams and that's how I got to where I am now.

Gemma Styles [00:40:42] Well, you know, I think that's a good lesson, isn't it? Sort of. You've just got to do what is right for you. And that's kind of the thing. Yeah, I think it's quite like it's quite a funny one. I feel like with the kind of content, an influencing sort of thing in general, because it's something that is so everywhere in our society now. And you know, everyone's following lots of different people and it's, it's kind of you see a lot of the content, but you don't see a huge amount of what goes into it and how it gets made. So it'll be the kind of thing where you might see someone's, you know, outfit photo on Instagram or something and it seems completely normal. But if you see someone on the street like stopping to take content, pictures and things, it still seems like it's something really odd. So I think they're still a bit of a disconnect between. Sort of how the sausage gets made, you know, like you don't want to see the process of it and it feels like it's maybe can feel like it's a bit weird or when it's someone you know.

Tasha Ghouri [00:41:43] Yeah, but.

Gemma Styles [00:41:45] Everyone's consuming that content anyway. So like, if they're judging, it just it doesn't really make a lot of sense to me.

Tasha Ghouri [00:41:50] Yeah. And I think a lot of people see inferencing as not a real job. And that's probably one of the sentences that, you know, upsets me because it's like so much effort. Hard work goes into content creation and people think takes 5 minutes. Boom, that you've got the picture, you've got the video, you've got the content. Sometimes you take a whole day, sometimes you take a week. And a lot of people think it's so easy. But trust me, when I came out with the fella, I was like, I wasn't sure how it's going to go. And I actually look back in a six months. I'm like, Wow, that was a lot of hard work. It really is hard work to consistent help with it and doing other things as well. Like when you reckon with brands, multiple brands having to do content for them and it's like there's so much that goes into it. It's crazy, really. It's crazy.

Gemma Styles [00:42:36] Which again I think is a good thing, a good thing to mention, like because this is something that so many people want to do. Like nobody's saying it's brain surgery like, but it's also not super easy, like just because it's not. A hard job doesn't mean there aren't parts of it are hard or you don't have to put work into it. If you want to know about opportunities to send in questions for upcoming guests, then follow us on Instagram or Twitter at Good Influence s or you can email the podcast at Good Influence Pod at gmail.com. Before you go, I've got three things I ask every guest, and that's if listeners want to find out more about what we've been talking about. Could you please recommend something to read, something to listen to and something to watch?

Tasha Ghouri [00:43:23] Okay, Something to read is the Bridgerton book. I actually about this when I was in quarantine, I. It is so much better in the book than on the screen. I think I really enjoyed it. Yeah, it was really good. I finished it in, like, two days. And then something to watch. This is actually quite interesting. The Titus on BBC. It's a really interesting twist on like a game kind of show. So you had the traits. I don't want to give the plot away because it gave it away, but it made it really good. And something to listen to is the CEO of Diaries. Is that why it's called CEO of Diaries with Stephen?

Gemma Styles [00:44:02] Diary of a CEO.

Tasha Ghouri [00:44:03] That's it. I got you to around. I listen to that sometimes. I think he's a really great inspiration of mine and he has amazing guests on there as well that are very inspirational, share their experiences. So I really enjoy listening to his focus sometimes.

Gemma Styles [00:44:17] Thank you for listening and thank you, Tasha, for joining me. If you enjoyed the episode, I would love you to subscribe to the podcast on whichever platform you're using and if you're feeling generous, you can leave a rating under review as well. See you next week.