Gemma Styles

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IS EVERYONE ELSE FEELING AS STRESSED AS I AM?

Is it just me, or is anyone feeling really… frazzled, lately? I’ve been really stressed out. Yet if someone asks what’s wrong, I generally answer, ‘Oh I don’t know, just everything.’ Trying to pin down what exactly it is that’s getting to me isn’t easy, but I’ve got a sneaking suspicion that it’s the world I am living in. Oh yeah, no biggie, just… the world.

I think the issue is that there’s very little escape from the harsh realities we’re facing right now. The past few months has felt particularly tumultuous in terms of the political landscape and this has inevitably filtered into the online space. Wherever you look on social media there are new headlines and new arguments and new bad decisions and new cruelty. It’s inescapable, which means everyone’s talking about it, or at least most of the people I follow are. There’s even an advert for The Fresh Prince of Bel Air on TV right now that makes a point of featuring the episode with Donald Trump in it. Is nothing sacred? Even television shows that I watched in my childhood have to be tainted with bigotry and terrible hair?

Small comfort, at least, is knowing that I’m not alone. In research published by the Pew Research Center back in October, more than a third of social media users felt 'worn out' by the amount of political content in their feeds, with roughly half of the people surveyed agreeing that the political conversations they observe online are angrier, less civil and less respectful than they would be if conducted in real life. Now, this research was published before the election result, so really refers to the back and forth of the campaigns and all that they had to offer, but I have to say I think it’s gotten worse in the aftermath. Now rather than getting caught up in the debates between two candidates we’re actually seeing the carnage being played out in front of us, with the victor following through on all the terrible things he said he’d do, but nobody ever thought could happen.

As if things weren’t bad enough, it seems our own politicians are taking a weird opportunity from the American tyre fire, thinking they can renege on promises because their bad deeds will pale in comparison. ‘Well, nothing we do right now can look as bad as what he’s up to so let’s just try and slip it under the news radar…’ My mind boggles at the conversations that must go on behind closed mahogany doors in fancy buildings, that come to decisions where we abandon innocent, vulnerable children. How could anyone not feel stressed by it?

What I’m trying to focus on now is maintaining some semblance of calm and balance in my life, the essence of self-care. For most people with mental health issues (I feel you, sisters) this isn’t a new thing, but I’m seeing a lot more emphasis on the self-care phenomenon online right now. I imagine it’s one of those terms that will be picked up by people with little understanding and mocked, like trigger warnings or safe spaces, but if you’re feeling the effects of the stress online at the moment or even in other areas of your life, I think it’s important. In my mind, self care is the stuff that you can do to look after yourself so that things don't get worse and require help from outside. Or if you already get help from outside, then just topping things up and keeping yourself happy in the interim.

Self-care can be something as simple as having a deliberately indulgent bath, or taking your dog for a walk. Taking the time, on purpose, to do things that make you feel good. When lives are so busy and we know other people have it much worse, this might feel like a luxury that there’s no time for, but by looking after yourself you’re more likely to have the energy and capacity to get up and do something meaningful the next day. It’s like the classic air travel thing, you have to put your own oxygen mask on before helping others. If you don’t pay attention to your own needs and pass out then you’re not going to be helping anyone, are you?

If you need some ideas on self-care or are struggling with mood or anxiety then there are some tips available on the Mind website. Personally, I think I’m getting a little better at expressing when I just can’t face things, or need some time to myself to decompress. I’m getting really into hot chocolate, which is inexplicably comforting to me and becoming a nightly habit. Everyone will have different things that work, you’ve just got to find them. If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bath.

originally published on thedebrief.co.uk